Category: reflection

The fork in the road: Australia

I’ve heard that anything done once can be a fluke, but if you do it twice it becomes a pattern. New Zealand was supposed to be one last hurrah. It was a way to say my dreams were worth pursuing, however grand they may have seemed at the time. And now? I am currently living in Australia, in this fever dream I’m calling life.

After New Zealand

When I had left for New Zealand, I was a mess. I had a job that I sought since college, a partner, and student loans freshly paid off. But something was missing. So I left, on the chance I might find myself. And I did. I came away from the trip more confident than I ever had been. My confidence to move mountains was restored.

The Task to move mountains

Holiday working visas are no easy feat to pull off. You have the application fee, the plane ticket, and the initial months without work. Not to mention miscellaneous, unforeseen expenses. For example, if you’re tired and want to grab food after your flight. Or if your bank randomly adds foreign transaction fees to your card. If you’re doing back to back holiday working visas it can be extremely difficult.

My timeline is as follows: Pandemic -> quit job -> find work -> Pay of Student Loans -> get cavities -> New Zealand… New Zealand -> find work slowly -> start making good money -> travel last month of visa and accrue debt. Then I come back home and have 9 months to make money, which created a completely new timeline… Hop off plane -> say hi to family -> go to alumni event -> become soccer coach -> new job saving a Gala -> Finish Job -> Mini Vacation -> Job Market collapses -> become cashier -> Hop on plane. So as you can see, very little room for error. All this to be unemployed in a foreign country (at least for a couple weeks).

So as you can see, even if you are focused and know what you’re doing, you will have a period where you use the money you saved. This is especially true if you want to have a mini vacation, like I did my first week.

My Mini Vacation

New Zealand was messy. I spent two weeks in Auckland where I befriended a British person right away. This friendship pretty much sealed my fate of drinking every day (for the first couple weeks). For this trip, A week in Sydney, a weekend in Melbourne, and then a house in Adelaide. Sydney was bank account and tax I.D. (as well as a mullet) where I ate free breakfast at the hostel, made cheese sandwiches, and had pasta. My splurge was on a rooftop bar during happy hour. Melbourne? Pure vacation filled with live music, brunches, and clubbing. Did I take the train? Of course! And then a 12 hour bus ride to Adelaide. If I didn’t have the weekend, I would’ve lost my mind. And Adelaide? Settling in and getting to know my roommates.

The coming weeks

I just set up transfers with my US bank. Pro tip: do not pay international wires as they will have high fees and not the best conversation rates! Instead, get a Wise account. You could also try Revolut, although I haven’t used them. Set them up as an external transfer, similar to what you’d use for banks back home. That way, you can transfer money to Wise. Once you set up your account, you can transfer it to whatever country bank account you’re using!

My next task is to find work, which means updating my resume and getting a few licenses specific to handling alcohol and if I want to go the extra mile, a food handlers card. It involves reaching out to local recruiters for the industry I’m applying for and as an extra measure, joining local business professional networks.

Once that’s done, I can start looking into things such as run clubs and perhaps even board game cafes!

Is it worth it?

Obviously, yes. The amount of growth I will achieve on this trip is immeasurable. It’s tough to start but gets a lot easier as the visa goes on. I have my own room, with a desk, so I’m already doing a thousand times better than when I started in New Zealand! Cheers to the future and I’ll be trying to post when I get the chance!

As always, thanks for reading! If you have questions about travel, feel free to reach out! I love sharing my experiences! I’ve also expanded to medium, so I’m expecting a lot more traffic in the coming year!

June 2023 Newsletter: change is in the air

So it’s that time again. Another month, another newsletter. This month is going to be a big one, so strap in and get ready. But first…

Mental Health Awareness Month

So series take a bit to write. Just because I have an idea doesn’t mean it’ll get published in time. I had a few articles in the pipeline that just didn’t quite make it into the series and that is okay. This last month I talked about my birth defect and it felt good; it was a huge mental health milestone for me! Later in the month I wanted to talk about Men in modern society and talk about overcoming exhaustion but alas, the month ended before I could finish either article. But all-in-all, a success.

Remember to take time for your mental health, it’s important! A lot of the work is messy and takes a concentrated effort but is well worth it. Remember to check in with your friends, it’s rough out there and be kind to yourself.

How is Mike’s Life?

About to go nuclear. Today I achieved my first major adulting milestone and that is having enough in my savings to pay off my student loans. I shed a single tear and felt the sun for the first time in a decade. My thoughts have, in a moment, shifted entirely towards the future. And the future is New Zealand. It is crazy to think I am five months away and I cannot be more excited. Speaking of the future…

Subscriber only posts and other musings

So, I’ve had this blog for eight years now and I’ve been blogging for ten. This is a personal blog and I’ve been doing everything on my own since the beginning. All posts have been free up to this point. I’ve played around with Patreon and Ko-fi as well as other revenue streams but ultimately decided not to worry about it as the blog started as a way for myself to improve my communication skills. Now, as I prep for New Zealand, I realize extra money from writing would be fantastic. So starting this month, some of the posts on the blog will be subscriber only. Right now the plan is to have the newsletter and the first post of the month free, with additional posts each month set aside for subscribers. As such, very little will change, as I’ve typically only be doing a newsletter and an article. The paid content will hopefully encourage me to write more and add a bonus each month for those who really love the content. I’m going to start with $5 a month as I think that’s fair but I’m going to play around to see what works best. I’m also going to start adding the donation button to the bottom of each newsletter in case anyone wants to help out without having to subscribe.

Marketing

Marketing, hooray! Marketing is an ongoing battle with this blog. For the last couple years, I’ve opted for a Facebook page (thank God I gave up on Twitter) and the WordPress reader. And the growth, while great has been slow. So, this year, I’m going to work on the marketing and my hope is it’ll bring more traffic to the blog. And also remember, word of mouth is the best marketing! So if you enjoy my content remember to tell your friends!

Other Fun Stuff with Mike’s Life

Half marathon training is going well and I feel in better shape than I did in high school. Coding is now a focus! With New Zealand fast approaching, I’ve been finishing up my coding lessons before AI takes over. I’ve also befriended chatGPT, in case it does become world ending.

And that’s a wrap! Life is busy right now but we are in the home stretch! Also, next month is sustainability month!

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Mental Health Awareness Month 2022: A Tale of Two (Three) Mikes

Gather around the fire as we dive into week two of Mental Health Awareness Month 2022. The other week we took a dive into my life without social media. The whole point of my Mental Health Awareness Month is to allow myself to be vulnerable and learn to share topics I typically don’t talk about in the everyday. Part of the journey is rewriting each article and getting the vibe ‘right’. So for today, we’re diving into my identity in what I hope to be a fun article as I explore who I am. So sit back and relax as we go through a younger Mike.

Mikey

I’ve been called Mikey throughout the years. It’s an endearing name and honestly one I wished people used more. My Dad always called me Mikey and a few close friends as well but most opted for Mike. For this example I’m using it describe a more innocent, nerdier, insecure Mike. Cause let’s face it, we all have insecurities. When I was younger I had a speech impediment growing up to the point where I needed a speech therapist throughout Elementary school. Couple that with an IEP (individual education plan) and craniosynostosis (my skull literally being taken apart when I was a baby) and I was a recipe for insecurity. Most I’ve outgrown but there are still a couple insecurities that linger.

It wasn’t until 6th grade where I started to become overtly self conscious. I was a care free kid who simply existed. I was the curious sort, always exploring and my focus took many years to master; growing up, if it didn’t interest me, I simply wouldn’t do it. Homework assignments would get left undone and while I had mild OCD, I eventually outgrew it. So, as insecure as I was, it wasn’t all bad. I loved the history channel and discovery channel (before their great fall, back when they were actually educational). A day after school would typically be spent watching “How it’s Made” or a World War II documentary. My love of learning has been consistent throughout my life and with knowledge has come great power. I talked a lot when I was younger and I have to wonder what happened to that spark. While I still talk a lot, there’s some of that childhood innocence that has been lost. What I say nowadays is within the framework of how I want to be perceived but there was a certain joy simply talking about everything that interested me when I was younger. However, when I was younger, my sentences would come off as gibberish and my wonderful memory would typically betray me as I would remember details about others they had completely forgotten. I could not give speeches and I could not communicate. Or perhaps I was simply being too hard on myself. An obsession with perfection and a desire to please everyone created obstacles that seem rather silly now.

Michael

The beast I unleashed into the wild. My entire life, I have never used Michael. It was not until I reached the college of business that I opted for the more formal name. Often I wonder what I have done. With each name, I’ve preferred to change my personality slightly to fit the roles that were needed of me. Michael once represented my ideal self, the man I strived to be. It was a way to separate myself from the nerdier (and insecure) aspects of my life. Long winded conversations, video games, the works. I was in college, so I was essentially a new man. And it worked. While I still used Mike among friends, when I networked I was solely known as Michael. Michael takes on a slightly more biblical name and I enjoyed it for a while.

Fast forward to present day and it’s a tougher question to answer. I have told people for many years that I have no preference: call me Michael, call me Mike, call me Mikey. In Germany I was Michel (pronounced Mikkel) and in Spanish I am Miguel. Any name you choose I won’t mind. But this last month I have started to wonder if this is really the case. I have turned my name, my identity into something nonchalant, something that I don’t care about. As with all things in mental health, I’m taking the time to evaluate. Michael would still be fun to use, but only on occasion.

Using Michael was necessary in college but for however many benefits it had, there were also downsides. The most notable is I’ve used it as a defense mechanism. Think of it as a tiered trust system. Michael is more formal, colder in tone than Mike or Mikey. I’ve gone as far as reverting my name from Mike to Michael in formal greetings when upset. How the habit started, I do not know. It’s kept a distance between myself and my professional life, a boundary I no longer need. So after this month I’m going to start making an effort to go by Mike. I won’t correct people if they call me other names but I think it’s time to have a preferred name.

Mike

My preferred name and my identity. The Mike that represents my two halves, now one. A nerdy Mike and a Mike that can communicate. My new ideal, after spending years working on myself. I still have a ways to go, but I’m happy with where I am. In college, there were a lot of pieces to the puzzle that didn’t quite fit and that are now starting to fall into place. I was so focused on my professional self that I lost a lot of what had made me charming in the first place. Coming back home has been a way to reconcile that. It hasn’t been easy but looking back I think I made the right call. I got to spend time with my dad while he was sober and before he passed away, a decision I never thought I’d make. It’s been great spending time with my mom and most old wounds have started to heal. I’ve learned a lot about my family dynamic and I truly believe it has changed me for the better. I can’t choose how each moment of my life plays out but my life is an accumulation of every choice I’ve made; I have to trust that each action is pushing me in the right direction. Had I set out on my own after college, I don’t know if I would have been better off.

I used to hate the imperfect pieces of the puzzle, never quite fitting into place. My reality was dictated by many “what if’s” and I would reach extremes that would isolate me from everyone. Now life has a much more balanced approach and negative reflection of the past has become relatively rare and never to the point of obsession, like it once was. This Mike meditates, this Mike reads about stoicism. I talk about games, movies, and shows that I enjoy while relating to others. There is a held confidence about myself that I’ve nurtured and I no longer have to pretend I am something I’m not. I enjoy Mental Health Awareness Month as I give myself a space to look closely at my life. The act of drafting is just as beneficial as publishing if not more so. Often, it is the process of writing and rewriting an article that in and of itself is the benefit. There is so much I wanted to write about but realized there is a time and place. What is meant for the public eye and what is meant for my eyes alone? It’s an interesting process of self reflection and really helps with my articulation of tough topics.

Three Names, One Man

It would be easy to stop at ‘Mike’ but I wanted to take the time to dive in and reflect a little more on myself as a person. This article has been rewritten many times for the sake of keeping it more on the lighthearted side. The article could have gone down a very different path but I wanted to ensure it didn’t. My writing is a reflection of who I am and my blog is a representation of my personal journey. A Mental Health Awareness Month series has risks as I am sharing a bit of myself with each post. Too much, shared without finesse, disengages the reader. Too little and it doesn’t give the reader a reason to care.

I exaggerated my personas for this article with purpose as I’m struggling with a bit of an identity crisis I didn’t realize I had until earlier this year. On LinkedIn I am Michael and eventually this bled into work and then to everyday life. So once I hit publish on this article, I’m going to be focused on rebranding. Mike should be my everyday, my default. There is no longer a need to separate myself and perhaps in the process, I’ll rediscover Mikey.

Thanks as always for reading! We are almost done with Mental Health Awareness Month! My last article will most likely be on my Father. Stay tuned for next week!

New Year, New Mike: The wheel of reinvention never stops.

Yes, it is January. And what does that mean? Reflection but of course. My blog is one big ode to my self improvement. Years ago, I had the brilliant idea of using my blog as a way to keep track of my New Year’s resolutions. A look at what I want to be and a way to hold myself accountable. Since then, I’ve been able to look back at years past and see if I accomplished what I set out to accomplish. I’ve had surprising success writing out my resolutions this way and I’m excited to share what I have planned for this year.

What I’ve Learned

Since I’ve started posting my habits on my blog, I’ve kept my goals as continuous goals. It’s not a one and done list! Instead, I modify and adapt. As such, my goals aren’t shear chaos as they were in years past. They are a constant and I’m glad. With each passing year, they become more focused and refined.

I have started using January as a planning month. Instead of running to the gym come January first, I take my time to carefully consider what I want to do. Since I’ve only started doing this quite recently, I have no idea what the end result will be.

Not a French Kisser

One of my goals for last year was to learn French. My German has become much improved since my youth and I found it time for a new language. I have a French friend and one of my dreams is to make my triumphant return to Europe, not as a boy but as a man. So I’ve been practicing French. The great news is that I’ve started. The bad news is I haven’t been practicing as much as I like. So this year, I’m doubling down. Lessons every day, more French shows, and listening to podcasts. As an added goal, I want to do more to measure my success with languages. My reasons, pardon my French, are rather dorky. I am learning Japanese simply for the sake that I’ve played Nintendo games my entire life. French is to impress my friend. And German was so that I wouldn’t starve to death in the airport when I did study abroad.

My goal right now is to learn French, German, Spanish, and Japanese to fluency. Outside of those languages, I may or may not pick up sign language but only time will tell. My Spanish is rusty and needs work. German I can understand but like Spanish my goal is to learn it so I can hold conversation. This is going to be a year of polish and I’m excited to see where it takes me.

Coding

Coding went surprisingly well. My main focus this year is web development. I’ve been lazy the last couple of months but I found coding material that is not only practical but enjoyable. But tough. Very, very tough. If I build a game, great, but web development comes above all else. I’m putting no pressure on myself for this, I am simply treating it as another skill to learn. It could take years or weeks, but my pace is my own.

Piano Man play me a tune

One of my goals has been to hone my musical craft. In my effort to be the smartest man in the room, music is one obstacle I haven’t quite been able to tackle. Motivation is key. So I reviewed instruments and landed on piano. It’s a social instrument and meant to be shared. I can walk into a building and should I find a piano, nine times out of ten I can sit down and play. The other aspect is lessons are easily available. Piano song guides are plastered around the internet and if I want to learn a song, I can. Try doing the same for violin and you’ll find much more of a headache. I still have my Skillshare account, so I’ll be doing lessons over there. It’ll be off and on but I’m hopeful something will stick eventually. The goal is to make it fun and slowly but surely I am getting there.

Cooking

An elusive habit since I’ve moved back home. In college, I learned how to cook. I made many dishes during my studies and found that cooking was not only cost effective but also a tastier option to eating out. So this year, I’d like to ease back into cooking my own meals. The plan currently is to sign up for a New York Times Cooking subscription and to start looking through a cooking blog I only recently found out about, Food52. I am going to slowly integrate cooking as a lifestyle choice rather than simply force myself to cook for the sake of cooking. There is no set plan for my meals but I’m starting the year by simply looking at interesting recipes. Life is a little chaotic right now so I don’t know when I’ll go shopping but I have faith this year I can really get back into making delicious meals.

Big Picture Goal

Individual, SMART goals are great, but they’re not enough to move someone forward. As has become tradition, I’ve been theming my years. A year of Assertive here, a year of New there… These frameworks help set up the plan for the year and help bring together my “Why”.

So this year I want to be my year of Desire. Desire in the sense of asking myself what I want and setting out to get what I want. When I became an Eagle Scout, I picked out a silver coin of one of our laws. In that moment, I picked courteous as I thought it best represented who I was. Always thinking of others, trying to please everyone to the best of my abilities. Later in life I learned that if you try to please everyone, you end up pleasing no one. And now I’m ready for the next evolution of that concept; being courteous to myself. So this year is about my goals and getting ahead in life. It’ll be paying off my student loans, helping with as many events as I can and eventually transitioning to project management roles. It’s time I stop sidelining myself and focus on my success, whatever it takes to get there.

Other Goals for the Year

While new skills are a blessing to learn and typically what I choose to focus on, I also want to instill other habits beyond simply building my human capital. For that, I have two goals for 2022. And those two goals are more walks and riding my bike again.

Walking

In Corvallis, I opted to walk every day to class. It gave me time to think and enjoy simply being in the moment. I could walk everywhere and it was great. Now, when I try to walk, I find I have no destination. So I’ve been looking to change that. I’ve recently gotten into Pokémon Go this past year and downloaded Pikmin Bloom as a way to encourage walking. Now going out has a destination and I couldn’t be happier. This year, I want to ramp up my walks and make them more rewarding. Between the two apps, I think I’m on the right track.

Biking

I bought an electric bike. Right before the Pandemic… The good news, last year I finally put it together. How many times have I ridden it? Once… I went from biking every day in college to nothing. So this year, we are going to course correct. I want to ride and I’m going to use my brother to help me get back in the habit. He’s started riding a lot this last year and he clearly has found a motivation I am lacking. So the easiest way forward is to join him. Sibling outings until I’m comfortably riding on my own again. I’ve felt rather homebound for the last couple years with my anxiety, so I’m hoping bike rides will help restore some of the freedom I lost. It’ll be nice to bike to work instead of taking the bus and should I need to get somewhere, it’ll hopefully be less of an ordeal than it has been for the last two years.

Happy New Year! That’s it for the article! Overall, I’m hopeful 2022 is going to be a great year. I’ve taken a lot of time for myself during the Pandemic and have come away better for it. Cheers to 2022!