Cold Night: A poem by Mike Cole

Winter came and went

The cold she did not mind

The silence, a breath at first

Then, suffocation.

The days grew shorter, the nights longer

Warmth began to freeze and time stopped for a while.

The letter she held, yellowing, the letters fading.

Words never read, now lost.

So I’m back with more experimental poetry. I’ve enjoyed free verse poetry for quite a while now and this time around I decided to tell more of a story than I’ve typically done in the past. This is a continuation of “Love Letter Never Sent” as I play around with the idea of two-parters. Probably won’t happen too often but hopefully you enjoyed reading the piece. As always, feel free to comment below and let me know what you think!

January 2021 Status Update: 2020, How’d I do?

This last year has been a crazy year. I’ve had to make major life decisions that have affected my trajectory for the near future. No easy calls but hopefully decisions that lead to a better tomorrow.

A New Year, an improved me

Since I can remember, I have always tried to draft resolutions for the new year. In High School, they were typically one goal and it wasn’t until college that I started adding multiple. Years of failed attempts left me upset, until I took the SMART method from my studies and applied it to my resolutions. Even then, this was far from perfect. In 2019, I went a step further and implemented what I called a “tangible” goal to help measure my success. SMART covers the how, but it doesn’t necessarily cover the why. This year, I want to take time to look back on my 2019 goals that I carried over to 2020. And more than simply focus on what I didn’t do, I want to take the time to focus on my successes.

Language

German and French were the two languages I wanted to add to my language toolbelt. My main motivation is I’d like to spend more time in both countries and not feel like a tourist. Since I’ve already lived in Germany, my main focus for the last couple years was German. In that time, I’ve watched my first German TV show and as of late December, have completely finished the German language tree on Duolingo. That doesn’t mean I’m done with German but it does mean that I now have a foundational base and can begin moving on towards quantifying my language expertise. As a chronic dabbler, I have a bad habit of simply dipping my toes in the water without ever getting wet, so this is beyond exciting. So my Language goal for German? Has been met!

Because I’ve finished German on Duolingo, this shifts my priority to French. French I find extremely difficult to pick up. I’ve been learning it sporadically over the last couple years and while I have some idea of the language, it is elementary at best. Over the next year, it is my hope to build a base much as I did for my German. Luckily, I enjoy learning languages, so it’ll be fun to see how far I go.

For 2021, my stretch language goals are to learn Latin and eventually Japanese. Japanese is completely unnecessary, but it’d be fun to know the basics should I ever travel there. Since for the most part I spend 10 to 15 minutes everyday on Duolingo, I’m not too worried about meeting these goals to some extent.

My overall tangible goal for the year is to take an aptitude test to know where I stand.

Coding

Perhaps the most exciting development, I have wanted to code for the longest time dating back to when I did Lego robotics as a Cub Scout. A missed Summer camp, dropping out of Computer Science II in High School, and a couple decades have finally brought me the furthest I’ve ever been. Online coursework through Codecademy and I finally have a base. Python, SQL, and JavaScript are the 3 languages I’ve started with and I’m actually having fun. For 125 days I learned Python and I hope to get back on the horse after taking a couple months to relax. If I can get 8 months of coding in, then the year subscription will have been worth it. With that said, coding has been a resounding success in my book!

Three coding specific goals for this year: finish my Computer Science coursework and get a certificate, then finish my course in SQL and “How to build a video game with JavaScript”. I had two main childhood dreams: catch all the Pokémon (which I did this year) and make a video game. So all in all, not too shabby for the year.

Painting Drawing Art

I did not get into painting this year! The plan was to originally sign up for art classes and then bam, the plague rolled into town. That said, I did adjust the goal to broaden the scope. The only reason I want to paint is because I’ve heard it is very therapeutic. I’ve since adjusting my goal to include penciling and doodling. To that extent, I’ve succeeded as I bought markers and spend about 5 minutes from time to time drawing lines and circles on a paper. It’s fun, easy, and relaxing.

This year, I want to focus on penciling as that’s the easiest as far as getting started. The plan is to take all my old homework notebooks that I just have sitting around and convert them into my personal art sketchbooks. I’ve subscribed to Skillshare, so a class is literally a click away. I remember being quite good at drawing as a child, so I’d ideally like to recapture some of that childhood spark.

2021, one new goal

Yes, 2020 had other goals that I never met, like camping and running a half marathon (albeit the half marathon can be forgiven) as well as cooking. Looking back, this were just taking a shot in the dark. If I exercise, I exercise but forcing myself to run was too much to ask. Gone are my cross country days and while I eventually want to tackle the half marathon beast, it’ll come when everything else falls into place. Camping is great in theory but in practice it was too difficult to get out given my anxiety. I thought camping would help with my anxiety, but it is clear now that I have to work on my anxiety first before camping can become remotely possible. Cooking is another marathon situation. I have no urgency to cook and while ideally I’ll get into it as a hobby sooner or later, having it as a resolution adds more stress than joy. If I cook a meal every once in a blue moon, I am ok with that. That aside, my new goal for 2021 is…

Music!

I am a nut for all things that can improve cognitive function. My two goals are to learn piano and eventually the violin. My brother bought an electric keyboard a while back and never played. Growing up we had a grand piano that I would play around with until one day we didn’t. So now, I’m going to right a childhood wrong and learn to play without an instructor because online tutorials are actually quite good! Violin I will most likely need someone to teach me but piano has thousands of tutorials and offers the least resistance to learning. It’ll be tough but if it can make me smarter, then it’s worth it.

My tangible for the year is to take a month course and do exactly what the teacher says. I want to simply have fun and find the joy in playing an instrument, which I’m sure I can do.

Epilogue

A new year, fewer goals. 4 in total. gone are the days of exercise resolutions and resolutions I don’t need. This year is a focus on what I enjoy and developing skills that I can carry out of my twenties. It’s a year of change and solidifying who I am and where I want to go. I am ready to move past 2020 and into a new year, so here’s to hoping 2021 is better!

Love Letter Never Sent: A poem by Mike Cole

He held the letter in his hand,

as he watched it turn to sand.

In the wind it blew,

holding words she never knew.

Fire that burned ever bright,

shifted towards perpetual night.

December 2020 update: Fire and Ice

So it’s December. The year is coming to an end. Twenty twenty. What a year. My hair now covers one of my eyes and I have added a Cabin Fever tracker to my weekly planner. Ambition has begun to falter and the days seemingly blur. So, let’s jump in.

What’s New?

The blog has been going strong this year and we’ve surpassed visitors from 2018, which was my initial goal for the year. More followers have joined the site and I expect more to join as we head into 2021. Writing has provided a much needed reprieve from the chaos of the world and I’m happy with this year.

Articles in Advance

Perhaps one of the most exciting changes on the backend is that with the work that’s gone into the new blog format, I can now start planning more articles in advance. Instead of a stressful May and April, writing an article a week at a time, I’m gradually writing the articles as the ideas pop up.

Patreon and Marketing

Patreon has been updated based off of feedback, not much has changed there. As it stands, Patreon isn’t feasible as a sole source of income, which is fine. I’ll still tinker with it as I like having the option to have a little extra money on the side for expenses. Marketing has become much more exciting. Twitter posts are now threads and the official Facebook page is easy enough to maintain. I’m simply focused on having fun with each respective platform rather than putting pressure on myself to generate growth on each.

Time to Think

This year has been an experiment. In September I turned 27 and I’ve been in a mad dash to make the most of my twenties. I’ve since taken some time to slow down and not be so frustrated that I’m not learning to paint, play piano, learn French, and code all while simultaneously trying to find a new job. I did an informational interview recently to see about writing in a corporate setting and it made me realize that hobby writing is really what I enjoy. Editing would be fun, but anything more might be more stress than it’s worth. I plan to build a portfolio for my writing and coding but I’m honestly glad I studied Business Management and am planning a Masters in Data Analytics. If I can get through 2020, I believe 2021 will be my year as I become more focused in what I want to do with my life. 2020 was my year of bold and 2021 I want to be my year of change.

Goals for the blog

Understanding where I stand with my writing, my ideal is to simply keep growing on WordPress and eventually getting more engagement; I’m grateful that I get some engagement here and there but I dream of a world where every post has a discussion attached to it. I have the recipe for success after this year of soul searching, now it’s just seeing if the ingredients are of the same caliber.

Writing Outside of the blog

I am still wanting to publish a book! However, with my reassessment on life, I’ve come to realize that it is not a pressing urgency; a fun to-do that can continually be pushed back. More pressing would be building a portfolio and contributing to different writing communities from time to time. That’s the plan anyways.