Tag: personal

Mike Cole’s deep dark secret: What I did cannot be undone

It started with a simple idea, a comment made by a friend, jokingly. She was talking about her trip to Ireland and made the odd remark, “I only date men who shave their armpits”. For the sake of accuracy, I must confess, this was almost 4 years ago, when I was but a Freshman in College. And it could very well have been another friend telling the story. Regardless, that’s besides the point, the idea remained. An idea long forgotten until I traveled to Germany for my last great college adventure and went to the store for the first time…

At the store, I decided to buy deodorant as any clean, well kempt man should do. To my horror, the deodorant was tiny! This simple difference changed the course of my German experience forever as I was haunted by the question, “why”? The argument can be made that everything is bigger and better in America, so we simply get more, yet, somehow, I found that answer to be less than satisfying. So I dug deeper and 2 months later I found my answer; it wasn’t just Germany, it was Europe. Everywhere I went the deodorant was tiny! At this moment, I knew I was onto something big.

At this point in my journey I had traveled all across Europe, blending in as I said “Ich bin ein Genie” and “Ich bin müde”, two of my favorite phrases. But none of this got me any closer to an answer. Until one day, when one of the German students was repulsed after seeing armpit hair on an American. The dots began to connect and it all made sense. Europeans shave their armpits. Men and Women alike. And just like that, the mystery was solved. Less armpit hair means less deodorant and quite honestly means people in Europe as a whole smell nicer. That night I slept like a baby and didn’t think much of it; yet my tale does not end there.

Many believe that there was only New Hair, New Mike; a rebirth of a person as he chopped his mop and become the product of envy among men and the epitome of desire for women [insert winky face here]. Yet I was curious. Driven to the brink of insanity towards the end of my 4 months, I did the unthinkable. I took my dull razor (worn thin from months of shaving my hefty beard) and went straight for my armpits. Yes, I, Mike Cole, in an effort to be fully immersed in European culture, shaved my armpits. And worse? I liked it. I felt clean and free much like when I shaved my hair for the first time. And then I got a rash… Fun fact, armpits are fairly sensitive, so don’t use a dull razor blade. Fast forward to present day. The year is 2018 and I’ve perfected my technique. Electric trimmer, shaving cream, then razor and you’re done! Note, if your skin is extra sensitive, use skin lotion after shaving to prevent irritation. Ahem, anyways…

It’s been done; a secret I thought I would carry to my grave, a sin now to be judged by my fellow American (and my lovely international audience). So why talk about it? Is it because I am currently reworking how I write and needed something to post? Partly! But more than that, armpit hair is actually disgusting when you think about it. It catches sweat and even if we slather on deodorant, it still drips and is absolutely gross. Shaving fixes this problem and you get to use less deodorant (which means you save money!), so go ahead, don’t be shy; shave and watch a miracle happen.

Thanks for reading! A quick announcement; I am a recent college grad or aka a broke person. As such I created a Patreon to help support myself. A dollar a month means I can buy a lot of rice and perhaps not starve to death. And thank you to my first donor, who pledged $5 per month; it means a lot and it’ll be exciting to expand the blog with the money.

become_a_patron_button@2x

 

 

A thought experiment: Reaching into the void

So I had this idea late at night, went to bed, and still thought it was a great idea when I woke up. Does that make it a great idea? Not at all, but let’s give it a try. So for the last few months I’ve wrote quite a bit but believe it or not, many of my posts have not seen the light of day. So instead of simply discarding the drafts into the trash, I wanted to make a post instead. I took the best lines from each and simply posted them. A few snips here and there and we have a glimpse into my mysterious mind. This is very much what you make of it. The quotes are posted in reverse chronological order so if you want this to be a story, it can. Read it bottom-up or top-down. Or do you find it to be more poetry than story? Really, it’s up to you to decide. I personally am very pleased with how this turned out. so without further ado, enjoy.

As I said earlier, my last week has been nothing but Netflix and chilling. Usually at this point cabin fever starts to set in and the sane start to become insane.  People get guilt tripped into thinking they’re wasting their time. While some experiences may be a waste of time, it all comes down to perspective and how we draw information.

So I’ve been doing some soul searching for the last few months. A lot of big questions with few answers. This idea of knowing who we are, who we will be.

Time. Once gone, it cannot be replaced. No amount of money in the world will buy you more time, another day on this planet. From the day we are born till the day we die we are racing against time.

This is a post about fear, vulnerability, and the future. I am currently unemployed, alone, and still searching for happiness. Happiness can come from fulfilling work, meaningful relationships or any reason in-between.

When I was growing up, the portable cellphone was a novelty and house phones were all too common. That was 1993. Remember floppy disks, then the Walkman, then Zune? The birth of CD’s, the internet as a source of entertainment? Hard to believe that’s all been within the two decades that I’ve been alive.

So I’ve been stumped about a topic for the last week. I keep writing drafts and then shelving those ideas to continue my Netflix spree. I have been home for the last two weeks and forget that my brother and I are yin and yang.

For most of my life it has felt as though something has been missing and every once in a while I’ll get a taste, a flutter of the heart and then an emptiness as the moment passes.

I was terrified of almost everything. Perhaps most so, my future. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what we fear and in the end, how much of a relief it is to face them. I spent a lifetime running from my fears. The one emotion I haven’t been able to conquer is love. Relationships are messy, complicated, and to be honest, don’t seem to be worth the hassle. People are terrified. Do people love because they care or because they are afraid of dying alone?

It’s time to talk about the voice inside the back of our head. The one that leaves words unsaid and gives doubt a field day. Yes, I’m talking about ourselves! As the old adage goes, we are our own worst enemies. We can spend years perfecting who we are only to have our little voice tell us our work isn’t good enough.

Life is made up of little moments and it is in these little moments that we hold our future.

As much as I like to think of myself as a man who has freed himself of his problems, that I have not. For some reason, when life is good, I simply can’t appreciate it. This year I learned to live in the present moment, to appreciate life as it comes. I wanted to be better, so I worked on being vulnerable.

A man of two worlds; the old and the new.

If you like what I write, feel free to share with your friends. And please let me know what you think! The last few months I’ve been playing around with lots of different ideas and so far the reception has been overwhelmingly positive! If you have an idea, comment! And who knows, I might write a post about it. As always, thanks for reading!

The life of a Traveler

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” – Marcel Proust

As I currently plan out my future from now till my death bed, I thought it would be fun to talk a little about travel. A year ago come August, I left for my study abroad experience in Germany. I forced myself to go. College was a time for stepping outside of my comfort soon and becoming the person I always wanted to be.

As it currently stands and as I will say many times, I am making my way North. Portland is a fantastic city and I could live a happy life here but it would not be a fulfilling one. I would wake up one day and ask myself, “is this what childhood Mike would’ve wanted?” The answer would be no. The kid who would dress up in a suit with a clip-on tie for school photos, the kid who, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up would reply, “successful.”  It would be a dis-service to every dream I’ve ever had and dreams yet dreamt.  Call it cabin fever, call it wanderlust but the world is meant to be explored.

Life is not measured in the things we own but rather the experiences we have. And as it would come to argue, it is much easier to create new experiences when you’re on the move.

I lived 5 years in Corvallis, Oregon for College so Portland is a nice change. Yet imagine Seattle. Then Vancouver, Canada, then Quebec. Spend a few years in France, then Germany, Austria? That’s the life people envy.

And perhaps we can broaden our definition of traveler. Why limit it to the scope of a geographic location? The reason I love travel is the immersion. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to see the world through someone else’s eyes and am sure many have felt the same, if only for a fleeting moment.

If you’re in Germany, you drink beer. France, you drink wine, smoke slim cigarettes and eat snail. Jokes aside, there is a reason I still practice German. There’s a reason I started learning French. It’s a connection through language.

There’s literally no point in staying put. Take a good friend of mine for example. He majored in chemistry and minored in dance. Guess which degree he uses the most? Dance. I envy him. That’s fulfilling. To go against the tide of others expectations and do what you love. Some spend a lifetime searching and even then…

I think we could all use a little more dance in our life. I’m not talking about black-out drunk, making questionable life choices dancing. I’m talking about something a little more elegant, a waltz. Or perhaps a tango, cha-cha, etc. A little spice, a little fire. Travel fulfills. No one became great from staying exactly who they were. They might become good enough, but does that really sound like a life worth living?

So go travel. Start with a country and then evolve. Through a dart at a map and buy a one way plane ticket. Terrified of a country? Pick a city, a town, a new friend. Start somewhere. Who knows, life might just surprise you.

Thanks for reading! If you like what I write, be sure to follow and tell your friends. Feel free to comment below. Talk about travel, bestow wisdom, anything.

The rule of simple

Over the course of 5 years at Oregon State University, I developed the rule of simple. It’s the idea that you can boil down most ideas, most tasks, to their core essence. That is, the main meaning. It revolves around the idea of asking the question “why” as often as you can and “beginning with the end in mind” taken straight from Stephen Covey’s 7 habits. Once I embraced this mindset, all else became, for lack of a better word, simpler.

What is the rule?

The rule, as mentioned above, is simple. If you find yourself becoming frustrated with a task, simply ask why you’re doing the task and what you want to get out of that task. That’s step 1. You then write down two to three main objectives (step 2). Once you ask the why, you then simply ask the how. And from the two to three bullet points (main objectives) you made, you can write two to three (or more, even less, it really doesn’t matter so long as you have a base) quantitative ideas for each of the three objectives. That’s step 3 and then you’re done.

Does it work?

Yes. Take my blog for example, I use the rule of simple for writing. I’ve always struggled with focus and for me, this was the missing piece of the puzzle. If I find myself becoming overwhelmed, this is what I fall back on. It has not failed me yet. Sometimes less is more. If I go on a date, I can use the rule of simple. Step 1 in that situation is understand the other person, so I start the date with listening. Step 2 involves relating my interests to hers. Questions like, “what makes me interesting?” (humor, intelligence, openness). From there I can talk about speaking German, how I got kicked out of Oktoberfest, etc. (step 3). As you can imagine, the rule of simple works because it forces you to focus.

Why use the rule?

I will say this about the rule; it does not make the world any less complicated. So what does it do? It creates a filter. The appeal of the rule is that, depending on the situation, you may not have to use all the steps. If I say “love yourself”, that doesn’t always need a why. If people ask, I can go through the steps. I can have a thousand different simple rules and use them at a moments notice. The rule “two people can both be right” has served me well or “smile more”. Easy, simple, and you’d be amazed with how much they accomplish. Instead of being paralyzed with how big the world is, now you have a way to simplify it.

Thanks for reading! I have a lot of great ideas for upcoming posts. If you have any topics you’d like me to cover, just let me know! I’ve spent 5 years studying business and the Human Psyche. My topics are meant to inform and spark the creative bug, so if you have a question that needs an answer, I can try my best! Feel free to comment and share!