Tag: dreams

November 2022 Newsletter: When Chaos reigns

It’s been a crazy last couple months. There’s been a lot of good and a whole lot of crazy. Short Story month was a success. Adulting has been hard and the wheel of time never stops turning. This is the intro and now we’ll dive into the nitty gritty.

Short Story Month

The first “official” short story month was successful. I was able to publish two short stories and the second story I was especially happy with. While the stories did lean more towards horror this year, I’m glad I made the series open ended; the main goal is writing practice and to that end I achieved my goal. With it’s success, I’ll solidify it into the series rotation.

When Burnout Hits

So it has finally happened, I have reached a point of burnout with work. I’ve been working at a nonprofit for the last year now and it’s been an interesting experience to say the least. I have hit the maximum of part time hours I can work (about 30) and I have become well established in multiple departments. I work the front desk, teach rock climbing, and assist with events currently. Over the summer, I was a camp counselor and still assist with childcare from time to time. Teaching, Event Planning, and the right type of customer service. Here’s where it gets tricky; the pay. I did the math and I’m only bringing in $19000 a year (rounded-up). Short-term, this is ok. Long-term, not so much. Compared to previous years of income, this is the least I’ve made since entering the workforce. It is a rate that has not kept up with inflation and it is a rate that doesn’t sit well with me personally. Now that I have the experience, I can once again look at the factors that make for a satisfying life. While I have work that I find enjoyable I just cannot justify everything else I would be sacrificing.

This Month (and a little of last month)

I’ve been running around the last couple months. September I had a wedding to attend, my bike got a flat, and I was coasting along. Come October, I got my bike fixed, my student debt relief application sent in, and braced for another busy month. Now, my two main goals are health insurance (through the affordable care act) and my New Zealand application. I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. The health care application is nearly complete and I’m just waited to be fully approved for coverage. New Zealand is going to be a lot more work. Everything goes well, I’m still waiting four to six months for the application. Afterwards, I’ll need to renew my passport and get a RealID for domestic travel before the deadline. In the meantime, I will also be ramping up my job search as a backup. December might be the first month where I can truly relax this year. And yet, I’m still swinging a miss on one of my new year’s resolutions. And that is… Learning the piano. So, it is time to practice. If I can put 10 hours into deciding a vote, I can put time aside every week to learn the piano. I’ve been cooking, coding, walking, biking, and learning French. So it’d almost be criminal if I didn’t at least try again with piano.

The Drum Beats On

It’s a bit of a fever dream right now. I am in a weird limbo where things are going well but my heart craves more. I am pushing my personal goals forward but it all moves slowly, then quickly. The blog is exactly where I want it and no major changes will happen (unless I live in New Zealand, then you bet I’ll do another travel series). Poetry, Short Stories, Mental Health, and Sustainability all make writing incredibly fun for me. It took many years to get here, but we’re here. My posts get plenty of likes and there is not a whole lot of heavy lifting. I write what I want when I want and keep on schedule (mostly). With short story month behind us, November really could be anything in terms of content. A poem? A short story? An article? Hard to say.

Other Nonsense

As of right now, it’s just a lot of planning. Believe it or not, I’ve begun longing for the days of the call center. Full benefits and a work environment that in hindsight wasn’t all too bad with a large organization that gave me access to resources. That’s not to say what I’m doing now is bad, it just is very limited as far as what I can do career wise. Since I’ve achieved my work experience goals, it is a simple matter of moving on out. It’s been a year of personal growth and I’m proud of what I’ve done, I just hate how there always seems to be extra steps to get what I want out of life.

Voting

Quite recently, I voted. I have been voting since I turned 18 and this election I really dug in to understand my values and who would best represent those. For my entire life I have seen Oregon on the decline under the leadership of Kate Brown and I simply said enough was enough. Being a moderate my views run a spectrum so I sought to provide balance in our legislature. I watched a couple debates and found information on each candidate. Each ballot measure I looked over and thought about how it would affect me as well as the larger implications as a whole. I feel I struck a nice balance and all the choices I made I’m happy with. That said, long term I think I will end up relocating. Oregon is not as it was and I want a fun city in a fun state where I can live. The job prospects here have not been great and I’m wondering if I can use my alumni network to make a smooth transition elsewhere. So basically it’s a “we’ll see” sort of year.

Doing the Math

So I’ve done the math [my favorite phrase today, apparently]. Career wise, I cannot stay any longer than the end of the year. Early 2023 is fine but any more and I’d be doing a disservice to myself. I also cannot outright quit as it is still nice to have a source of revenue (and the work is enjoyable). The schedule and hours all work with my current plans so I can simply build on what I’m doing. The weekends are typically pretty quiet, so I simply work on my blog and get my coding goals done. It also affords me time to read books and just really sit back a take a breather after the last couple of years. However, if I were not doing these things, I’d be bored out of my mind. And that is not ideal for a workplace environment. Overall, I think it’s good to have this type of experience during my 20s. I’m jumping around and just figuring out this thing we call life.

This will be a month of doing. Ramping up my coding, finishing a few books, and getting the foundation laid for next year. It’ll be a time to learn piano and make sure all personal milestones have been achieved. I’ll be looking towards the future in what will be another busy month. As always, thanks for reading!

The Hidden Horror of Stardew Valley

He held Grandpa’s letter in his hand and began to open the seal. Mid way through, he stopped, and put the letter back in the drawer. He turned to his keyboard and began typing, waiting for his next call. Grandpa’s words echoed in his head, “No, no don’t open it yet… have patience.” He sighed and waited. Across from him was a skeleton and to his left was another co-worker. His once clean desk was in disarray. “Get it together”, he thought, as a call came in. “Hi, this is … over at …”. As quickly as the call came, it was over and he was back to his thoughts. No light came into the office and he was located in a corner in the back of a dimly lit room. Grandpa’s letter still sat in his drawer and he often wondered what it said. But he thought, “it could always be worse” and saw no need to open it. He checked the clock and it was time to go home; he was late and would miss the bus.

When he arrived to his small, two bedroom apartment, he sat down at his table. When he was comfortable, he opened the fridge and checked for food. He grabbed a beer and finding nothing edible in the fridge, settled for ramen in his upper cupboard. He slid back in his chair and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels, trying to find anything to entertain him, at least for a bit. He settled for a rerun of an old childhood show and made his way to bed. It was already midnight. He stared at the ceiling for an hour, restless and tired, but not entirely sure why. He was happy. He made steady pay and had a job. Yet he couldn’t stop thinking of his childhood. He drifted in and out of sleep.

His alarm beeped and he slammed his hand down to stop the sporadic sounds coming from his nightstand. He checked the clock and it was 11:30. “Shit, I’m late for work”, he thought. When he arrived, 10 minutes after 12, the desk next to him was empty. He had liked his neighbor and brushed it off as business needs, thankful that he still had a job. He had been with the company for the last 3 years, in the same role. He had seen plenty come and go, so this was nothing out of the ordinary. He got his first call of the day and forgot about it.

He sat alone in the break room for lunch. There was a dartboard and a Wii and a vending machine filled to the brim with soda and chips. As he unpacked his cheddar and pepperoni sandwich on whitebread with a smidge of mayo, he decided to grab a bag of chips. As he typed in “A5” for a bag of Cheetos, his finger slipped and added another 5. He typed “A5” once more; the metal curled and the bag began to drop. Halfway through, the bag got stuck, hanging in the vending machine. He went back to his table and took a bite of his sandwich.

After lunch, he wandered back to his desk and began to daydream. He thought back to 3 years ago when he first decided to accept his offer from Joja Corporation. He needed a job and it didn’t seem to matter so much then what he chose. He had finished his studies and he needed the money. Another call came and he answered “Hi, this is … from Joja Corporation, how can I help today?” He reached for the drawer and couldn’t find the letter. “Huh, I must have misplaced it.” And then he took another call.

When he went home that night, he took a deep breath. He pulled a beer out of his fridge and boiled some water for the ramen. He sat and watched his shows. When he was tired, he went to his bed and drifted to sleep.

“There will come a day when you feel crushed by the burden of modern life…” Grandpa’s words echoed as he slept. And the haze lifted as he was pulled from his sleep, the last words evaporating before they could form.

He sat thinking about the envelope all that day. He sifted through his loose papers in his desk, searching for what was lost. He couldn’t find the letter. And then he began to forget. Clock in. Clock out. Routine was routine and life was easy. Days turned to months and months to years.

… When he got home, he was exhausted… He sat for a bit and then went to bed… He had been with Joja Corporation for 9 years going on 10. Tomorrow would be his work anniversary… He would receive his card and… Gosh, was he tired… And he drifted off, mid thought…

“…and your bright spirit will fade before a growing emptiness.”, Grandpa’s words echoed as he dreamt. “When that happens, my boy, you’ll be ready for this gift.” A single tear fell from his eye and when he awoke, his eyes glistened.

When he got to work that day, he searched frantically for the letter. And then he found Granpa’s letter… Crumpled, stained, and wedged between the wall and the edge of his cubicle. It looked old and worn. When he opened the letter, the words had all but faded. He could not read what Grandpa had wrote. He tried to squint and hold it up to the flickering light. But it was all too faded and was a relic of the past. Time had passed and the letter along with it. “If I had just opened it then…”, he thought. And then he sat down and cried.

Hi All, Thanks so much for reading! It’s been a long while since I’ve gotten around to writing a short story. I’m quite happy with how this piece turned out and have been planning on writing this for quite a while now. It is my first venture into what some might call “Fan Fiction” and I decided no better way to start than with the game that caused me to fail my marketing final. It plays with the “What if” in Stardew Valley and ponders the question of what would happen if your character never opened the envelope and simply put it back in the drawer. I plan to be writing more short stories for 2020 and will finally be getting back into writing articles. It has been slow going now that I’ve been working but I’m making a steady income and would rather not rush a post. As a reminder, you can always donate if you want to support the blog but I write for fun so do not feel obligated to. As always, feel free to leave comments and if there’s anything you want me to write about, let me know!

Best,

Mike

Should tomorrow come: A poem by Mike Cole

Crimson red fades to midnight blue

Caught in twilight, night wakes

Breathing, calculating, ever holding

Dreams stir and the world begins to turn

Shadows creep, daylight seeps.

Tomorrow seems so far, yet the first hint of morning’s light.

Morning. Morning has come and gone.

Distant Dreams, I know not where: A short poem by Mike Cole

Distant dreams, I know not where

Shadows crept, turning meadows grey

Day faded and night came.

 

He walked, searching, calling and echoes cried back

The darkness hungered and enjoyed the snack.

 

Fragmented memories, stitched together.

A tapestry, constantly unwoven and rewoven,

yet never complete

 

He closed his eyes and remembered.

The sun beat on his face and warmth filled the air.

Whatever darkness, he dared not care.

 

And so he stitched his tapestry with gold,

remembering his tale was yet to be told.

Funds to send Mike to Mars

I love producing content. As I grow as an individual, so does my content. What was once acceptable now isn’t. As such, more time is spent working on each post. I do all edits, research, and content creation. Whether it’s taking photos for a post one day to writing poetry the next, my blog is keeping me busy. Donations are appreciated and are used to invest in creative pursuits whether that be writing classes, art lessons, and anything in-between.

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