Tag: Dating

New Year, New Mike: A Year of New Beginnings

So this is the year. The gears have been turning for a while now and everything has lined up. It is time to hit the reset button. My crazy fever dream is just beginning. As of writing this, my working holiday visa application to New Zealand has been accepted. I have been working a new job for over a month now and I plan to fully commit to running a half marathon.

So this year, my resolution post is going to be formatted a little differently. I have been heavily goal focused for the last 3 or 4 years now. This year, I wanted to take some time to go over life and some of the reasons behind the big changes.

When Life Loses its flavor

So for a while now I’ve been trying to avert certain disaster and I’ve just been barely able to keep my head above water so I don’t drown. Along the way the world has brought me to my knees. A lot. And each time I have gotten back up. As a consequence, life has lost a lot of its flavor. I try to feel with my whole heart and there is barely a pulse left. On the outside I’m posed with purpose but on the inside I can feel myself imploding like a dying star. The hope is that when I finally go super nova, the energy released breaths life into a New Mike.

The Long Journey

This year, I want to be more honest when it comes to love and that comes with acknowledging where I’m at. When I was young I thought I’d be married by 29 or at least in a relationship. Not drifting aimlessly and not lost to the darkness. My personal growth has seen me invest heavily in friendships and self-love, all of which I have in abundance. It even saw me coming back home and reconciling with my family. Now, my life lives in paradox. I am both surrounded by people and love but am also alone.

The Goal

This year, I want to reset and I want to just let love happen (well, not entirely, I do have a plan). To do this I cannot walk the path alone. So instead of hopping back on dating apps, I’m going to explore why I’ve been single for so long. And as such, it’s time for a dating coach. I have also relayed to my friends if they have any single friends they know to send them my way. I remember what love felt like when I was younger and want to learn how to recapture that energy. It’ll also be a year of dating books and podcasts as I seek to understand what love is and where it fits in my life. The hope is to make the process more fun and less work and while my “Year of Desire” went a long way for getting back on the saddle, there is still much to be done.

A Focus on Imperfection

This year I’ll be exploring imperfection and learning to find the beauty in it. My whole life has been spent obsessed with perfection. I thought if I didn’t follow a certain path, I’d end up like my father. In truth, I was partly right. I became obsessed with mental health in college and set down a journey of constant improvement that has made me a better man. And yet, here I find myself drifting. I feel shame and find myself in a state where I’m never truly vulnerable. The walls I thought I had torn down are in fact, still there. Why can’t I talk about my craniosynostosis? Why can’t I talk about my romantic failures? Why am I still so conflicted over my childhood? I thought being the best I could be would propel me forward in life but it didn’t, so maybe it’s time I look at the imperfections that make up so many parts of life.

The Concrete Goals

This year, the goals are practical. They are boxes to be marked that will prepare me for my journey in life and in the near future, New Zealand.

Running

My long neglected bastion. The one thing that has always given me peace in this world. It has always been there and is a measure of who I am. So it’s time to propel it into my adult life with a half marathon. The plan is to run the bridge of the Gods in the Cascades come August 6th and this time I have the tools I need. Nike Run Club has a fitness coach and has a 14 week half marathon running plan, guidance I have been sorely missing since high school. I’m going to try to get a friend to do it with me and it should be a nice send off before I live in New Zealand.

Coding

Ah, the journey I started on during the pandemic and what has been an on again, off again relationship. Coding skills I need, there is no way around this fact. My problem is I’ll do a little and then lose motivation, even though I find the concepts interesting. If I learned to code, this would open up a world of possibilities for me professionally and now I have the perfect catalyst; yup, you guessed it, my journey to New Zealand. I have a Codecademy subscription and the program is being vastly expanded, so it’s time I jump back in. My goal is 8 to 10 hours a week as I believe this amount of time is what I need to have some professionally ready skills by the time I live overseas. While communication is my forte, I want a true technical skill to fall back on.

All Other Goals

With great effort, my goals from years past have formed into stable habits. The journey may not be perfect, but I no longer feel the need to put cooking, biking, language learning, and piano on here. I practice them enough and am slowly building a strong lifestyle of having them integrated into my everyday. This year is for the big goals and I have no more time to dally.

The Human Capital Question

This year will also have a renewed focused on revenue streams, which means trying new things as well as looking back at the old.

Freelancing

In New Zealand, I’ll be a casual or part-time worker. As such, I want to have as much at my disposal as I can. That means not relying on one stream of revenue. Imagine making money part-time and then freelance writing on top of that. This in fact may lead to my return to social media, in a professional capacity. I’m still looking at the logistics but I really want to make freelancing work; not as a sole source of income but as an additional revenue path.

Sponsorships

I am officially considering sponsored content. Currently I am in the early stages of looking at how it would work but the idea popped in my head when I got a random email asking for brand ambassadors. I figured if there’s a product I’m using a lot, it could be fun to have the occasional sponsored article. After ten years of writing, I think it’s time I start at least exploring content like this.

Contests

Contests I have also been very curious about for a while now. Enter a fiction contest, win a cash prize. Easy, straightforward and what I hope to be fun. It’ll be a good incentive to invest more time into my writing and since I’ve been writing short stories for a bit now, it seems like a good time to jump in now that I have a general sense of where I want my life to go.

And that is my current roadmap for the upcoming year. It’s time to usher in the next chapter and fully enter adulthood. It’ll require a look at relationships, myself, and my professional capital. Last years goals helped establish a good lifestyle so now I’m making one last push to live as the best version of myself. I’m excited to see what this year brings. And as always, thanks for reading!

August 2022 Newsletter: Summer heat ain’t so sweet

It is now officially August. The summer is coming to a close and it has been a chaotic summer to say the least. There’s been some small victories and other more frustrating endeavors but all in all I’ve landed on my feet.

The Good

I’ve been working near 40 hours a week this summer. With this extra work has come an influx of cash that I’ve been using to refill the treasury. I’ve been running a lot this summer and adult co-ed soccer was beyond fun. I bought expansions for my board games and think the next game night will be a real banger. I’ve situated myself to be working more hours in the fall and I’ll be taking on the additional job of a rock climbing instructor. I’m prepping for my old college roommates wedding and am beginning to think of what I want to do for my birthday. At the very least, it’s set up to be a smooth year for me.

The Bad

Sustainability month was great! Except it was only one article! Last month put my blog to the test and ultimately I fell short. That said, I might extend sustainability month into August and make it a two month affair. August will calm down for me after the 18th, so I imagine I’ll have more time to finish up the articles then.

The Ugly

As my year of a desire, this year is all about getting back out there. It’s a year focused solely on my wants and needs. While I’ve seen great success in some areas, dating and relationships are just as messy as they’ve ever been for me. It’s a time of emotional volatility as I ride one high to the next and hope by the end of the year I dock in safer harbors. My one meet-cute this year has been a disaster and while it hurts less as I grow older, it still hurts nonetheless.

Where I’m at

It’s a strange time in my life. I’m doing what I want in life and life by every measure is good. I’m still aiming for great, however. The newly found stoic in me would say this is a folly; but stoicism is an ideal, not a reality. My present moment is very much present and while it feels good most of the time, there is still this undying pull that I should be doing more. My ponderings are not so much in what I’ve built this last year but more in wondering if it is but an illusion. Should that matter? Hard to say. Will opportunity find me or I it? Are these questions worth asking or a waste of energy?

In Conclusion

All is fair in love and war. To win at my year of desire I must outcompete. I thought I had accomplished this very aspect in my many years of personal growth but it appears I have more work to do to beat out ‘The Other Guy’. My final conclusion in this regard is to workout more often. I thought I could simply run and that would be enough but now I have to wonder if that is really the case. I speak Spanish, German, and Elementary French. I play Tennis, Write, and am learning piano. One must ask what more a man can do? So now I will try working my upper body in what will be a bit of a social experiment. The plan is to add swimming to my routine as a way to expedite results. With swimming in place, I will put an end to my hot boy summer. Will we see victory or defeat? Who knows at this point. Worst case, I have a wedding to attend in September and I know how to dance. Until then, cheers!

March 2022 Newsletter: When Fortune finds you

Another month, another newsletter. The year will once again be ramping up as I prepare for April, May and eventually July and October. Articles are being planned, poems are being written, and stories are coming together.

A lazy month

I’m going to take March as a lazy month. The weather is nice and I’ve been working more hours at work. The sun is shining through my blinds as I write this and I am simply relaxing on my day off. With this month, it’ll only be this newsletter. April will be a month filled with poems so I’m okay with taking a break.

What have I been up to?

A lot of walking. I’ve walked more this year than I have in a long while. Pokémon Go has helped motivate going on walking adventures where I simply enjoy nice weather while catching Pokémon. This year in general has been a Pokémon heavy year as I play through Shining Pearl (the fourth generation of Pokémon) and gear up to jump into Legends of Arceus. It’s more or less been a celebration of Pokémon and I’ve been enjoying the journey as I keep myself busy.

Outside of Pokémon I hosted a game night with friends and it was an absolute blast. I opted for a combination of board games and Mario Party. I plan to do more in the future but it’ll be tough to do them monthly. However, it’s one of the best ways to keep in touch with friends so it’s worth the effort.

I boiled beets. This may not seem like a big deal but it marks the start of my ‘back to cooking’. My New York Times cooking subscription is paid in full and I will slowly begin to cook over the year. I have twelve months, so what could go wrong.

Dog Training!

It’s finally time! After years of having Abby, my Golden Retriever, she will be going to training. She is currently three but better late than never I suppose. I am doing classes with my brother and mother which start on the 23rd; who knows, I might even start writing about my dog if I enjoy the classes enough.

Dating

I’m considering making dating a top priority once more. I have a couple of dating apps as my lifeline for a man adrift at sea and I’m seeing where it leads. Ideally I have a meet-cute where I bump into someone in person but as I get older I don’t know how likely that’ll be. 2020 was supposed to be my year of dating and while I had found success, the Pandemic turned it into a year of self reflection. Will there be more dating articles, who knows? People seem to enjoy when I talk about the follies of love, so nothing is off the table this year.

April

National poetry month! The format is set and this year will be a good one. April is not like my typical poetry. It is the only month where I dive in a little deeper and explain the meaning behind the poem. It’ll be three poems and this year is set to have a good variety for each. I’m feeling a love poem for April, so stay tuned.

And that’s a wrap for the March Newsletter. The next newsletter will be in June. Get ready for an awesome year of writing and content. And as always, thanks for reading!

Adventures in Dating: Single be as single does

So, I’ve rewritten this article a couple times now. I thought this article would be easy to write but it turns out not so much. Dating stories are easy; I like talking about meet-cute’s and the occasional drama that comes from dating apps. Talking about being single is a first for me.

The idea popped up in my head about a month ago, when I was sitting alone in my room; I quite enjoy being by myself. I’ve always treating love as an end goal, a destination to reach, not a journey to be had. The most joy from dating I’ve had is where I’ve simply dated. And while it may be cliche, love is about the journey, not the destination. What’s the rush to have a girlfriend? Get married? We’re on this Earth for a decent amount of time and the relaxed approach seems to work best.

I adhere to my own schedule and in the last decade have become fiercely independent thanks to my time spent in college and half a decade spent learning to look inwards for gratification. There is a certain satisfaction that comes from being on your own; you’re in essence, as free as the wind. There are few individuals I have met where I have thought I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with them (and I’ve caused knees to buckle since preschool).

The dating climate today is exhausting and quite expensive. Online dating is nigh impossible and takes the fun out of dating altogether; dating was a chore before a Pandemic and having a glass of wine with someone over a zoom call is far different than hitting a nice German bar or going on a hike and having a nice meal afterwards. Bouldering dates are non-existent in this current dating Hell we find ourselves in.

On the eve of my twenty sixth year on Earth, dating has become a minefield. The older I become, the more likely it is women are likely to have been in long term relationships that are now just ending. Those high school sweethearts you thought would be together forever? Turns out, not so much. If I were to enter a relationship, Ideally it’d be two to three years. Children aren’t in the plan and I’ll typically take passion over dedication any day of the week. Dating is about mystery and excitement, marriage is for the good and bad. Could that change over time? Most definitely. But if you’re not enjoying the journey, then it’s not worth your time.

I enjoy flirting. A wink here, a compliment there. When my hair grows long, I like to flick it. Years of perfecting my approach, I am now a master. Most of my charm I owe to my management degree and the rest I owe to practice. This has no relevance to the core of this article, I just wanted to add this part for flare and to emphasize the fact that dating itself can be quite a lot of fun when you’re single. Relationships require a different approach and sacrifice some of the freedom being single affords you; not inherently better or worse, just different.

The point I wanted to touch upon for this article is that it might be better if more people were single for longer. We are born dependent, we become independent and then we become interdependent. If we do not learn to win our private victories, we stay dependent and jumping into a relationship in this state creates a co-dependent relationship. Co-dependence may sound romantic, but it’s not. Ideally, a perfect relationship is two independent individuals coming together and setting goals together while still retaining their individuality; it will not work if one party is dependent. Food for thought but I thought it was worth noting. If you’re in your late twenties and haven’t been in a relationship but have been working on yourself, you’re more than likely to be set up for healthier relationships down the road. That’s not to say young love can’t prevail but should that relationship come to a halt, will you have the skills necessary to pick up the pieces?

And that’s it! Another dating article successfully written. This article took longer than expected but I’m thrilled so many people are enjoying this series. Part of the goal is to transition my article writing to more creative topics that shy away from business and informational topics. Especially now, as the world feels chaotic, I think it’s nice to read something different. I had fun writing the article and hope you enjoy the final product! If you like my content, please consider following the blog, liking, and sharing among your friends. If you want to support me, as a creator, I also have a Patreon and a Ko-Fi. Below is the link:

Support this blog!!!

Also, feel free to comment below! Do you agree? Disagree? Do you think first love holds true or do you think it’s better to be comfortable in your own skin before taking a dive?

%d bloggers like this: