So, I’ve rewritten this article a couple times now. I thought this article would be easy to write but it turns out not so much. Dating stories are easy; I like talking about meet-cute’s and the occasional drama that comes from dating apps. Talking about being single is a first for me.
The idea popped up in my head about a month ago, when I was sitting alone in my room; I quite enjoy being by myself. I’ve always treating love as an end goal, a destination to reach, not a journey to be had. The most joy from dating I’ve had is where I’ve simply dated. And while it may be cliche, love is about the journey, not the destination. What’s the rush to have a girlfriend? Get married? We’re on this Earth for a decent amount of time and the relaxed approach seems to work best.
I adhere to my own schedule and in the last decade have become fiercely independent thanks to my time spent in college and half a decade spent learning to look inwards for gratification. There is a certain satisfaction that comes from being on your own; you’re in essence, as free as the wind. There are few individuals I have met where I have thought I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with them (and I’ve caused knees to buckle since preschool).
The dating climate today is exhausting and quite expensive. Online dating is nigh impossible and takes the fun out of dating altogether; dating was a chore before a Pandemic and having a glass of wine with someone over a zoom call is far different than hitting a nice German bar or going on a hike and having a nice meal afterwards. Bouldering dates are non-existent in this current dating Hell we find ourselves in.
On the eve of my twenty sixth year on Earth, dating has become a minefield. The older I become, the more likely it is women are likely to have been in long term relationships that are now just ending. Those high school sweethearts you thought would be together forever? Turns out, not so much. If I were to enter a relationship, Ideally it’d be two to three years. Children aren’t in the plan and I’ll typically take passion over dedication any day of the week. Dating is about mystery and excitement, marriage is for the good and bad. Could that change over time? Most definitely. But if you’re not enjoying the journey, then it’s not worth your time.
I enjoy flirting. A wink here, a compliment there. When my hair grows long, I like to flick it. Years of perfecting my approach, I am now a master. Most of my charm I owe to my management degree and the rest I owe to practice. This has no relevance to the core of this article, I just wanted to add this part for flare and to emphasize the fact that dating itself can be quite a lot of fun when you’re single. Relationships require a different approach and sacrifice some of the freedom being single affords you; not inherently better or worse, just different.
The point I wanted to touch upon for this article is that it might be better if more people were single for longer. We are born dependent, we become independent and then we become interdependent. If we do not learn to win our private victories, we stay dependent and jumping into a relationship in this state creates a co-dependent relationship. Co-dependence may sound romantic, but it’s not. Ideally, a perfect relationship is two independent individuals coming together and setting goals together while still retaining their individuality; it will not work if one party is dependent. Food for thought but I thought it was worth noting. If you’re in your late twenties and haven’t been in a relationship but have been working on yourself, you’re more than likely to be set up for healthier relationships down the road. That’s not to say young love can’t prevail but should that relationship come to a halt, will you have the skills necessary to pick up the pieces?
And that’s it! Another dating article successfully written. This article took longer than expected but I’m thrilled so many people are enjoying this series. Part of the goal is to transition my article writing to more creative topics that shy away from business and informational topics. Especially now, as the world feels chaotic, I think it’s nice to read something different. I had fun writing the article and hope you enjoy the final product! If you like my content, please consider following the blog, liking, and sharing among your friends. If you want to support me, as a creator, I also have a Patreon and a Ko-Fi. Below is the link:
Also, feel free to comment below! Do you agree? Disagree? Do you think first love holds true or do you think it’s better to be comfortable in your own skin before taking a dive?