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I tried to write a sonnet: A sonnet by Mike Cole

I tried to write a sonnet

I tried to write a sonnet, I really did.

Hours I worked, yet nothing truly clever.

Iambic pentameter brought that to a skid.

I realize now, a fruitless endeavor.

 

Stressed and unstressed can be tough, what to do?

My first poem never saw the light of day.

I watched the clock and time accrued.

Shakespeare was brilliant, what can I say?

 

If I had my way, every line would rhyme,

Yet I’m committed, this sonnet will be done.

The point of no return has arrived, climb!

All this time spent… I could’ve been seeing sun!

 

Alas, no more shall come of this sad affair.

Awake! Awake now! Wake from this nightmare.


So, if you follow my blog, you’ll be aware that over the last few months I’ve been playing around. Trying out different forms of poetry, starting with free form, then writing limericks, and now a sonnet. If you follow my twitter, I’ve also tried my hands at haiku’s. And I have to say, it’s been fun. With that said, the sonnet sounds easy on paper but is extremely difficult to execute. I wrote and rewrote this multiple times, until I threw up my hands and went from a serious sonnet to a humorous one. I might try again down the road, however, I am content with just writing poetry as I see fit; my research has concluded and I’m excited to officially bring poetry back to my blog. If you’ve been here since the beginning, you might remember ‘Fruitful Fridays’ where I analyzed a poem every week; well, it’s back (not every week, but hopefully at least once a month), except I’m doing the writing and you get to analyze! And as always, let me know what you think. My blog is designed for discussion and I always love hearing your comments!

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Mike Cole’s deep dark secret: What I did cannot be undone

It started with a simple idea, a comment made by a friend, jokingly. She was talking about her trip to Ireland and made the odd remark, “I only date men who shave their armpits”. For the sake of accuracy, I must confess, this was almost 4 years ago, when I was but a Freshman in College. And it could very well have been another friend telling the story. Regardless, that’s besides the point, the idea remained. An idea long forgotten until I traveled to Germany for my last great college adventure and went to the store for the first time…

At the store, I decided to buy deodorant as any clean, well kempt man should do. To my horror, the deodorant was tiny! This simple difference changed the course of my German experience forever as I was haunted by the question, “why”? The argument can be made that everything is bigger and better in America, so we simply get more, yet, somehow, I found that answer to be less than satisfying. So I dug deeper and 2 months later I found my answer; it wasn’t just Germany, it was Europe. Everywhere I went the deodorant was tiny! At this moment, I knew I was onto something big.

At this point in my journey I had traveled all across Europe, blending in as I said “Ich bin ein Genie” and “Ich bin müde”, two of my favorite phrases. But none of this got me any closer to an answer. Until one day, when one of the German students was repulsed after seeing armpit hair on an American. The dots began to connect and it all made sense. Europeans shave their armpits. Men and Women alike. And just like that, the mystery was solved. Less armpit hair means less deodorant and quite honestly means people in Europe as a whole smell nicer. That night I slept like a baby and didn’t think much of it; yet my tale does not end there.

Many believe that there was only New Hair, New Mike; a rebirth of a person as he chopped his mop and become the product of envy among men and the epitome of desire for women [insert winky face here]. Yet I was curious. Driven to the brink of insanity towards the end of my 4 months, I did the unthinkable. I took my dull razor (worn thin from months of shaving my hefty beard) and went straight for my armpits. Yes, I, Mike Cole, in an effort to be fully immersed in European culture, shaved my armpits. And worse? I liked it. I felt clean and free much like when I shaved my hair for the first time. And then I got a rash… Fun fact, armpits are fairly sensitive, so don’t use a dull razor blade. Fast forward to present day. The year is 2018 and I’ve perfected my technique. Electric trimmer, shaving cream, then razor and you’re done! Note, if your skin is extra sensitive, use skin lotion after shaving to prevent irritation. Ahem, anyways…

It’s been done; a secret I thought I would carry to my grave, a sin now to be judged by my fellow American (and my lovely international audience). So why talk about it? Is it because I am currently reworking how I write and needed something to post? Partly! But more than that, armpit hair is actually disgusting when you think about it. It catches sweat and even if we slather on deodorant, it still drips and is absolutely gross. Shaving fixes this problem and you get to use less deodorant (which means you save money!), so go ahead, don’t be shy; shave and watch a miracle happen.


Thanks for reading! A quick announcement; I am a recent college grad or aka a broke person. As such I created a Patreon to help support myself. A dollar a month means I can buy a lot of rice and perhaps not starve to death. And thank you to my first donor, who pledged $5 per month; it means a lot and it’ll be exciting to expand the blog with the money.

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An ode to coffee: A limerick by Mike Cole

An Ode to Coffee

Oh, coffee, so bitter and sweet

A hero, to rescue those in defeat

When dreams end, you are there

You are a drink, most fair

But you shall be warned, never reheat.


My second attempt at a poem. I’m currently playing around with different formats and seeing what I like most; as they say, practice makes perfect! I also want to try writing more fiction, however, I am currently researching how to write stories, so it’ll be a bit before I try my hands at it again; it also makes me feel a little awkward and dorky, but hey, nothing wrong with being a dork. Next week I should have another post (it’s at 400 words right now) and I’m keeping it a secret as to not spoil the surprise. I also have a Patreon now, so feel free to support a recent college grad if you can spare a dollar a month. If not, that’s ok, I can still afford rice and potatoes.

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